I read a statement today that got me thinking:
People who do not honor and respect your energy and time shouldn’t be receiving your energy and time. –Lisa Fábrega
I find this to be so true, particularly when it comes to business and relationships. Sometimes we waste way too much time trying to convince love interests, friends, or potencial customers of our worth. Some people have been known to even go into debt trying to impress others. The reality is that if we are truly convinced of our own value then we don’t need to put on a show and we automatically let go of the need to try to get others to see how amazing we are.
Every few weeks somebody gets in touch with me asking for my services but stating they’re not sure I can help them with what they need. They usually start by telling me that ‘so and so’ recommended me but we might not be a good match. Then they ask me to tell them why they should work with me. I don’t even try participating in that conversation because I don’t need to. If you picked up the phone to call or text me, but you don’t think I can help you, you are wasting both of our time.
Something similar happens with relationships. Some people want to hand out crumbs and then they expect me to try to show them that I deserve more than that. Nope, that’s not how it works. This whole concept about relationships being ‘fifty-fifty’ and how we ‘complete each other’ is what has so many people confused. I don’t want half of nobody; you’re either all in or all out. If you want to have a relationship with me, you need to show up complete.
Too much time and energy is wasted on trying to live up to other people’s weird expectations. No matter what you do, you will never be exactly how others expect you to be. Instead of investing time trying to impress them, you need to raise your own standards and hold yourself accountable to those, and not to somebody else’s idea of what their experience with you should be like.
Once you’re able to do that then it’s easy to let go of the need to bend and twist to please everybody. And the sense of freedom that comes from accepting your own awesomeness without trying to convince anybody else of it, is priceless.